I actually wrote it in my journal this week! Amazing! I was reading through some old entries (I almost called them posts, haha) and came across one where I wrote something that someone had said to me. It was something hurtful, that sadly I've never forgotten, but reading the post--I mean entry--really brought back the hurtful things that this person who is close to me said. I cried all over again and was angry all over again. Should I scratch it out of my journal? Does that mean I haven't forgiven them?
I often write (ha I mean occasionally write) when I'm angry and upset. It's a way for me to vent, well it used to be, I don't write anymore. I want a way to vent and most things don't bother me when I read them now, but this did! I'm alright today, but I don't want to get upset everytime I read it, which I guess is never, but you know what I mean! Any ideas?
P.S. Sorry to those who have wanted pictures of our apt and my craft room. I have never gotten them exactly how I want them, so I haven't posted them! I guess I will eventually.
6 comments:
It is horrible to have to remember terrible memmories like that. I hope you are doing better. I sure love you tons!!
I have found somethings in my journal that I am shocked that I wrote in there and I wish they had never happened. I think I am going to redue some of my journal entries to cut out some parts. I want my kids to be able to read them and grow from what I wrote, but also realize that I was a normal person. It is a hard balance. Good luck! love you, mindy
All through high school and college when bad things happened or things I wanted to forget, I wrote... and the rest is left forgotten, and I'm so grateful for those words because it means my journals are full of positive and happy memories rather than remembering the hurt. But I completely understand the need to write and vent as well.
I think you should write it to vent--no harm in that. But if you are having the same feelings when you re-read it toss it! I think you could even write a journal entry about what you do--record frustrating things and purge so your posterity knows that you had sad moments and a way to deal with them--just not really yucky specifics that are going to make you upset. I am the same way. Brad can't believe how I can get worked up and experience emotions from five years ago.
sue and steve sent an email yesterday - "sand & stone". it basically said that when someone does something to hurt you, write it in sand. when someone does something good for you, carve it in stone where the wind cannot blow it away. the hurt will eventually blow away but the goodness will not be erased. it is good to write down our feelings, but somethings are not to be kept forever. hope this helps. love you!
It may help to write it down on a scratch piece of paper and if you want to keep it then slide it in your journal, if you want to discard it later then you can throw it away.
I did send that email to Libby but I would like to tell you about my journal. I no longer have one. I read it one day and tore it up then put it in the shredder. Now I have no memories to read anymore. I wish I hadn't done that. I found parts of it were funny, fun and good, but parts of it were thoughts and feelings of darker days. I decided if I couldn't tell the whole story then I shouldn't just tell part of it. Because someone later in life would think my life was all smooth sailing. So for what my two cents is worth, I suggest you keep it - all of it. I know that it is an old cliche but you are going to go through life with ups and downs, ins and outs, diamonds and stones. Keep them all and learn from them. I'll bet this event, even though hurtful then and now, reminds you to try and not do the same to another.
Think about when you read the pioneers or other historical journals you come across that if all they had in them were good things, would it make you wonder if their life was really that way or did they not tell the whole story. Just know that we love you!
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